Starting School: A Guide for Parents and Carers

Starting school is an important milestone for children and parents alike. The transition from preschool to ‘big school’ brings a sense of excitement and enjoyment, but it can stir feelings of uncertainty and anxiety.

Every family experiences this transition differently. Some children might be nervous about being apart from their parents, while others can’t wait to learn and make new friends. Some parents might feel proud and ready for the change and others a little emotional as their child take another step towards independence.

While there is no way of knowing how your child will respond, there are many simple things you can do to prepare yourself and your child for starting school. By planning early, building school readiness skills and talking about what to expect, you can help your child feel confident and prepared for this next chapter.

How to Prepare Your Child For Starting School

Here are a few strategies that you can use to prepare your child for starting school:

Become familiar with the school environment before starting school

Help your child feel confident for their school transition by spending time in their new environment. Primary school is a big change from preschool or childcare. There are more classrooms, more children and more teachers, which can be an overwhelming new experience for children starting school for the first time or if it is their first time visiting one.

Some ways to help familiarise your child with the school environment include:

• Attending school orientation, open days or information nights
• Taking a tour of the school
• Walking or driving past the school regularly

School orientations: Many schools in NSW and Australia offer orientation days in Term 4 the year before your child starts school. Be sure to attend these as this is where you will receive important information about school expectations, uniforms, classes and supplies needed. Use this time to meet the teachers and learning support staff.

School tours: Visiting the school before the first day can help your child familiarise themselves with where key places are located. Walk around the school and point out the school office, bubblers, toilets and entry gate. If you already know where their classroom is, practice finding it from the school gate. You can also use this time to explain school routines such as the school bells, lining up for class, assembly, recess and lunch. Allowing your child to explore their new school can help to build excitement but if they have any concerns or doubts, speak to the school about additional tours.

School drive by: In the holidays before school starts, go for walks past the school, or drive by, so your child can become familiar with the journey in and be reminded of key locations like the school gates and play area. This will also help you get an idea of how long it will take you to get to school each morning and afternoon.

Create excitement about starting school and learning

A positive attitude toward school can set the tone for your child’s lifelong love of learning. Talk about the fun things they will learn and show your own excitement to build their confidence in starting school.

Children often mirror their parents’ emotions. Even if you’re feeling nervous, try to stay upbeat and excited when talking about school so your child feels reassured and ready for the transition.

You can nurture your child’s curiosity by weaving learning into your everyday life before they even start school. For example, taking your child along for your weekly grocery shop can help to build skills such as counting (opens in a new tab), vocabulary (opens in a new tab), colour recognition (opens in a new tab) and social skills (opens in a new tab). Try not to be too forceful or it can start to feel like a chore.

Show your child that you enjoy learning too. Read your own books around them and talk to them about what you’re reading. These conversations can build vocabulary, listening and concentration skills that lay the foundations for learning. Borrowing or buying books about starting school can also spark helpful conversations that make the transition to school feel exciting and familiar.

Establish a new school routine early

A predictable routine fosters independence through repetition and helps children feel calm, confident and reassured about what to expect each day.

Routines can take time to settle into, so start practising your new morning routine at least two weeks before school begins. Wake up, eat breakfast, brush teeth and get dressed at the same time each morning to help your child adjust to the new schedule. This will also give you an idea of how long it will take to get ready, so you aren’t rushed on the first day of school.

Use this time to practise packing their school bag together. Create a checklist of all the things they will need to take to school and check that they know how to open and use items like their pencil case, lunch box and drink bottle independently.

Visual reminders make routines easier to follow. Put a picture checklist on the fridge or on their bedroom door and have them tick off each item to build responsibility and independence.

Watch Our Visual Communication Strategies Video for More Tips

Don’t forget about the after-school routine too. Routine can help your child adjust and unwind after a long day of learning. Consider introducing some simple quiet activities like reading or drawing, to help your child get into the mindset of doing homework (opens in a new tab).

Let your child play

Starting school brings more independence and responsibility, but play is still one of the best ways for children to learn and prepare. Play helps children practise a wide range of social, emotional and motor skills that are all essential for learning.

Playing family games with clear rules can strengthen skills like listening, waiting, taking turns, winning and losing and following instructions (opens in a new tab). All these skills will help your child build confidence in making new friends.

If your child already knows their classmates or meets a new friend at orientation, arrange a few playdates before school starts. Familiar faces can make the first day feel less daunting and more exciting.

School Readiness Skills to Develop Your Child’s Independence

Daily Self-Care Skills

Helping your child to develop independence in everyday self-care tasks is an important part of building their school readiness skills. When children can manage simple routines around eating and toileting on their own, they feel more confident and prepared for starting school.

Teachers will be there to offer reminders, but they won’t be able to assist every child individually. Supporting these skills at home in the months before school will help your child adjust more easily to their new school routine.

Feeding and mealtime independence

At school, children are expected to eat and manage their food independently, so they won’t have as much help at mealtimes when they start school. Some skills to practise at home include:

• Opening and closing lunchboxes, drink bottles and containers
• Peeling fruit and unwrapping food items
• Knowing which foods to eat at Crunch&Sip (opens in a new tab), recess and lunch
• What to do if their lunch falls in the dirt or their drink tips over

You can practise these skills in the weeks before school by having picnics at home and preparing lunches when you go out for the day. If there are any items your child struggles with, send these items unwrapped or in a different container until they develop more independence with these skills. With practice, your child will eventually move to becoming more independent.

Toileting independence

For every child’s safety, teachers and other adults cannot enter student bathrooms. This means your child won’t have help with toileting at school so developing their confidence is essential for starting school. Skills to develop at home include:

• Recognising the need to use the toilet
• Asking to use the toilet
• Wiping, flushing and washing hands independently

You can help your child build these skills by creating toileting routines around leaving the house, mealtimes and outdoor play. This will help create habits they can transfer to school. School bathrooms are different to your home, so using public bathrooms while out can help prepare your child for the different environment.

Dressing for School

Being able to dress independently helps children feel confident, capable and organised for the school day.

Skills to develop at home include:

• Putting on and taking off jumpers, hats and socks
• Managing fastening like zippers, buttons, laces or Velcro straps

While it might be tempting to wait until their first day of school to try on school uniforms, it can be helpful to have your child practise dressing to make sure they feel comfortable. Buy uniforms and school shoes as early as possible to give time for practise. Choose a time when you have plenty of time for practise, not when you need to leave the house in a hurry.

Many kindergarten children haven’t yet developed the fine motor skills to tie shoelaces so using strapped shoes in the first year of school may be more suitable for your child.

Managing Personal Belongings

Learning to look after their own belongings helps children develop responsibility and confidence as they start school. These skills support organisation, memory, and independence, and can make mornings and home times run more smoothly. Skills you can develop at home include:

• Recognising their own name on labelled items
• Packing and unpacking their bag each day

You can encourage responsibility by having your child carry their own bag when going out and by creating a space at home for them to store their bag each day. Allow them to pack their own snacks and belongings for extra practise.

Letting your child do things for themselves and teaching them responsibility will give them confidence in their abilities and reduce anxieties they may be feeling about starting school.

Supporting Emotional Readiness for School

The first few weeks of school are going to be exciting but tiring. Fatigue can lead to big emotions such as mood swings, meltdowns and increased impulsivity. Supporting your child’s emotional readiness through co-regulation (opens in a new tab) can help your child manage long school days and exhaustion with greater resilience (opens in a new tab).

You can support emotional readiness by:

• Recognising and naming emotions as they show up for your child
• Using calming strategies like deep breaths, counting to five, getting a cool drink or squeezing a toy when upset
• Building calming activities like colouring and puzzles into your afternoon routine
• Talking about emotions with your child.

When your child starts school, give them time to wind down and reset at home before asking too many questions or having them do chores.

Starting School for Children with Additional Support Needs

If your child has a disability that might affect their learning, there are a few extra things to consider before your child starts school.

Enrolment

Enrolment for children with moderate to significant disabilities starts earlier in the year to allow for necessary planning to support transitions. For many schools, the enrolment deadline is the end of April, the year before your child starts school. Regardless of which school you have decided to enrol your child, you will still need to enrol with your local catchment school. Your local catchment school can help you apply for access to additional learning supports such as support classes and funding.

School communication

Teachers are very busy in the first few weeks of school, so make sure to meet with your child’s teachers and school staff before school starts. Use this time to discuss their preferred communication methods and any strategies, adjustments or medical needs they should be aware of when supporting your child. Sharing information about your child’s strengths, interests, personality and routines can also help teachers understand how to best support them. Stay in touch throughout the school year to build a strong partnership with your child’s school.

Writing a social story or social narrative

Social narratives help children become familiar with their new school through stories and pictures that show classroom routines and important buildings. Reading a social story several times familiarises your child with what to expect to ease nerves for the first day. The NSW Department of Education has created a picture book (opens in a new tab) and social narrative templates (opens in a new tab) to support school starters. Ask your child’s new school if they have their own story or if they have any photos to personalise your child’s starting school social narrative.

Preparing Yourself: Self-Care for Parents on the First Day

It’s normal to feel a mix of pride, excitement, and even sadness when you wave goodbye at the school gate for the first time.

The focus has been on preparing your child for this next milestone but it’s important to take care of yourself too. Plan a little self-care for your child’s first day. This could be as simple as catching up with a friend for coffee after drop-off or going for a walk.

With love, encouragement and praise, you’re giving your child the best start to school they need.